Winters
in Russia are long and dark. Winters are usually like that and we
cannot avoid them. The Moscow sky can be grey to black for months on
end. It gets light at about 9.00 to 9.30 and dark in the late
afternoons. This lack of sunlight brings with it depression and misery
for some people.
People get sad at different times of the year this is called "Seasonal Affective Disorder" SAD for short. However,
some people can be sad all year round and this is usually called
depression or "manic depression". Moscow is a challenge on your moods and I will offer some personal ideas for getting happy again if you live in Moscow.
People who are slightly ignorant, often assume that people who are
depressed are simply "feeling sorry for themselves" and they "enjoy
being sad". However most people with some common sense and some basic human
empathy know this is not true. People who have depression are not sorry
for themselves but are often the opposite. They consider themselves
lucky but they often feel as if they are drowning in a world, or in a
situation without any hope. They feel hopeless and joyless. Nothing brings them joy. They are healthy and they may have everything, have no money worries, have a
loving family and have many friends. Many cannot explain why they feel
depressed but in my opinion, the local environment plays a key role in our moods. Dark
winters days are dangerous for people who get depressed and I would
suggest to avoid Moscow if you suffer from serious depression or stress, although there are ways to fight it.
Lack of light is a key reason in feeling low.
Seasons
Some
people love spring, others autumn and some love winter. All bring with
them different colours, smells, feelings and experience. All bring
positive and negative feelings. Some people love to see the trees
blooming and covered in leaves. Some
people love to see the ground white and and to feel the crisp cold that Moscow gives us, anytime from late
November through to late April. In Autumn, (fall) the trees look beautiful with all the browns, reds and yellows but when the trees are empty of leaves, it can look very depressing. Seasons impact on our happiness, as much as our situation does. Seasons are linked to SAD. Some people get depressed during a month in the year, when they must make their annual tax return, some get depressed at the end of the December when they must visit their mother-in-law for Christmas. In all seriousness, calendar months bring with them, a change in light, temperature and weather. For me, I hate dark days and dark cold mornings, from about November through to about April. I like many, suffer from SAD during the winter season.
In Moscow, the sun does not
shine much in the winter but when it does, it is a beautiful sight to
enjoy. The sky can be a deep, bright blue without any clouds. The air
will take your breath away with it's so cold and your skin will sting.
On days like these, get out and walk by the Moscow river, visit a good cafe
in a park and enjoy them and feel alive. Days like these are rare gems
to treasure and to enjoy and will help lift depression. The chances are that you will probably not live in
Moscow again, once you leave here, so get into the Russian winter vibe and do as
Russians do. Buy some skates, go skating in any of the large parks, go
walking in a forest or skiing and if you are really brave, go swimming in
the ice. Strip off, grease up with goose fat and dive on in, clean your spirit and do the pain for Jesus (I won't be joining you). Winters here are what Russia is about and winters are deep in folk
law and in tradition. Russia, simply is winter, they own the winter copyright, you can't run away from it here, so live it, fight your SAD.
Summer times, are hot and intense here.
Summer and winter in Moscow bring with them different challenges. The
winter brings months of ice, dark, snow, cold and gray, while the summer
brings months of heat, traffic smells and lots of sun light. In the
summer, it can stay light up to midnight and later. These are called the
"white nights". Two things may keep you awake in the summer, the heat and
the light. Two things that may keep you awake in the winter are the
central heating and the noise outside (see best posts).
Ways to be happy in winter
The
dark can make people depressed. Waking up in the mornings, when it's
black outside and freezing is very hard. The alarm bell goes off but it's
still dark, your brain says it's night time, go back to sleep but the
buzzing noise near your ear, says wake up and slaps your round the face. Your eye lids are glued shut
and the bed is warm and will not release your from her vortex of
comfort. Some people, use a bright light, an electric lamp light, to help with their moods and to help them wake up. You
can buy these light lamps, anywhere and they can be set to come on at times
during the day, especially at your usual wake up time. They create an artificial sunlight, that really does help
to lift you out out of winter depression. I recommend buying a very long electric
cable, not to hang yourself from but to plug in and drag the lamp around behind you in your flat or in your office, during these dark
days. Sure, you may look as crazy as your old aunt but you will be happy in an artificial sun. Play some funky
music and dance in the lamp light.
Music, really helps with depression.
Try to listen to, happy fast beat music or jazz to feel happy. Please avoid James Blunt or heavy, classical music, you will feel worse. You can
listen to it on your headphones. Store happy songs on your mobile phone
and listen them on the train or at the gym. I find comedy helps me,
during the winter and I watch stand up comedy on YouTube, laughter is better than any drug.
When you are
away from your country, you can miss your culture. Keep connected to
your culture by watching shows on YouTube that you enjoy. When the kids
are in bed, get a cup of tea or chocolate, sit in a comfy chair or in a
warm bed and watch things that make you smile. Watch some good stand up
comedy, sport, a happy movie. The great thing about YouTube is its free
and you can search for anything on it. You don't need to sit upright at a
computer but watch it relaxed in a chair or in your bed on your Samsung or Apple tablet.
Surround yourself with chocolate cookies, ice cream and a hot drink and laugh and
feel your mood lift. Tomorrow is another day and you will be ready for the fight. Kick sadness out the door, don't let it beat you, beat it. Don't get sad, if you get fatter, get off your bum and exercise. Burning energy releases natural highs, that help with depression and SAD.
One thing I have always said, on this free
blog of mine, is that it's very important that you get out of Moscow and indeed
Russia, as often as you can, (subject to time and money). On average, try to get
out every 2 to 3 months, from October through to August. Fly out of
Russia and see some nature or visit family or friends. As the saying
goes "a change is as good as a rest". Visit a spa, (wellness centre) or
if you need sun, fly to a warmer place for a long weekend or for a week
and recharge your sanity batteries. Moscow can drive you insane, if you
let it. Time out, is vital, to stay healthy and happy here.
Many Russian's have
county homes "dachas" and often go to them at weekends. If you are an
expatriate here, you won't have a dacha but if you have any Russian
friends that do have one, invite yourself to it for a weekend. Friends
and keeping busy are very important to being happy anywhere and Moscow
is no exception. Join a gym, meet friends, invite friends to your place
for eating, drinks or coffee and be very active. Remember nothing comes
to you, you must go to it. If you sit at home waiting for the phone to
ring, you will have a long wait, Moscow is a hard bitch and she will not
help you if you don't help yourself. Be proactive and get out, don't sink
into the winter blues.
Many people turn to alcohol, pills or
drugs in the winter (and indeed at any time). Stress and depression, drives many of us
to drink and like any large city, Moscow is highly stressful. Drinking
too much is not the answer, it helps for a few hours but the next day
you will feel like shit and you will still have your depression. Try to
find other ways to relive stress and depression. Good sex is one way,
(if you can find it) meditation, a hot bath with candles and soft music,
natural drugs like "Persan", natural herbal teas, yoga, naked sports, free style underwater origami, face painting, eating, cooking etc. Drinking
alcohol or taking drugs, is not the answer and will make you fat and
sick. Exercise, is by far the best way for your SAD mood. Go running, in the
summer, in a park and in the winter, run at a gym. Try 60 minutes on a treadmill, followed by a hot sauna or steam and you will feel great again.
I find three
things help me no to get too depressed here in the winter. One, is
exercise, as often as I can, two, is watching or listening to things that
make me laugh and three, is taking regular trips out of Moscow and
out of Russia.
Seasonal Affective disorder, (SAD) is real and don't let it
rule your life in Moscow or anywhere. Fight it, beat it on the bottom and send it
packing out the door. Good luck drear reader, say fuck off to sadness and
be happy. If you like this blog, make my kids happy and please make a donation via Paypal. All money donated, is used to buy them books. Thanks.
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Moscow has many expatriates. The exact number is hard to say and
rather hard to prove other than some dated data from the HSBC for Moscow that suggests, 90% of expats are male, 83% are satisfied with their lives and 76% earn more than they do back home.
From my experience, there are 3 main types of
expatriates here in Moscow (see best posts expatriate types). People sent abroad to work, people who come
here to look for work and people who come here for love. There are a few other obscure types here, such as socialists, wackos and drops outs but they inhabit the shadows of the expat community.
The main reason for anyone coming here, is ultimately for work. With the global economy in employment meltdown, many families grasp the nettle of opportunity and move to a place like Moscow where financial packages can be very generous, allowing them to save or have a great five star lifestyle.
Moscow is not
the first destination that many sane people would choose to move to, but sanity can be thrown in the trashcan, in return of money, adventure or love. People
come here, short term as single people or with their families. Moscow
has many expatriate families. A lot are from America but also from other
countries. The main groups are families. You will be here as a single
man or woman or here with your family. People move here for work and
stay anything from 2 to 5 years. Some stay a lot longer. To stay here
a long time, you must love it here and be financially secure. Some stay here reluctantly, as circumstance insists it but they are not usually happy.
The Moscow female expatriate community
This
community is big very big. Many wives here are here with their husbands
and their husbands work at embassies or at big international companies,
whose names we have all heard of. Many women don't work at all here and have
one to four children. They often have live in or full time nannies, a
driver on call and a "housekeeper". Many are from the USA, Canada and the
United Kingdom. Their husbands are diplomats, directors, oil men, auditors, accountants, financial "experts", lawyers,
consultants, retail directors and architects but their field of specialty can be varied. They
tend to live in central areas but some live in gated communities outside
Moscow. These families try to live near a school or kindergarten. The
female expatriate community is largely affluent and usually middle
class. These women have a nanny to take their kids to and from school and they spend their days attending expatriate baby groups, going to
the gym or doing some form of part time work. Some work for Russian or
international charities or do some work from home. Some women move here
to be with a Russian husband. They meet their Russian husbands via
language study, dating websites or on rare occasions, via their work.
The Moscow male expatriate community
As
above, many are here in top jobs. They are here with their wives
although many move here to work and meet a Russian girl, marry and have
kids here with dual citizenship. A few slip past the radar of their company performance targets, appraisals and make a comfortable nest out of old photocopy paper and used paperclips, in a store room cupboard in the back office, often going unchecked and unchallenged for years. Many are American as well as other nationalities. They adopt Moscow as
their full time home and are top earners, some change jobs and work for Russian companies and these guys have usually been married a couple of times. Many speak Russian fluently, as they have a one to one tutor or are married to a Russian.
On occasion, some guys move to Moscow to study Russian, return years
later and settle in Russia, taking up Russian citizenship. To take Russian citizenship, you must either be crazy or love Russia or be in love. These guys love
Moscow and assimilate totally into Russian culture and life and can be fiercely defensive of Russia. Many men, move here for love and set up home with
Russian women, often via dating websites. They are usually financially secure
and older in age (40 to 55). They are often divorced or widowed. They
having nothing to lose by moving here and set up with a Russian woman,
who is often years younger than them. These age gaps can be more than
ten years and these guys often have a few kids from previous marriages. Many are attracted to the traditional Russian gender roles, where women cook, clean and take care of the men. Although large breasts, long legs and sexy Russian accent are also an important factor in the Russian attraction.
What is the expatriate community like in Moscow?
It
really depends on your circumstance, single, married or with a family. If you are single it will be what you
make it. If you are male it will be a lot of fun. If you have a good job
here and if you don't look like Quasimodo, you will not be lonely at night and will have an active sex
life and an active social party life. If you are a married female with kids,
you will have a huge network of other mothers to link up with. You will
join clubs and have time to keep fit and pop out multiple babies, on a
yearly basis. If you have no money worries, life will be champagne sweet in
Moscow. You will probably live in a free or cheaply rented flat, in a
central area and will love the buzz of the city and expatriate, social
dinner party scene. You will spend time with your kids and be the role
of what many women did in the 1950's, you will be a "housewife" a rare and envious role these days. You will watch your children grow and will have an
active involvement in their lives. Enjoy it, cherish it.
The male expatriate community
has a lot of confident, highly paid, often highly arrogant guys working
here. These guys work hard, often at the top of their game. They enjoy
huge salaries and have huge delegated responsibilities. They are confident and
very qualified. The expatriate community here revolves around sports bars, business clubs and
families. The expatriate community is not an open friendly group, where
everyone is is "in it together" but a group that is often highly competitive.
These expatriate groups here, often reflect the wider society, of who
earns more and who has the biggest flat, the most children and who has
the best nannies, housekeepers and cleaner. The community can be bitchy, competitive, cold and often as genuine as a Gucci handbag, bought in a Tokyo market. When you meet genuine
friends here, hold onto them and mix socially with them, they will be good friends
here in Moscow for all of your stay here.
There is not really a "village" atmosphere here, that you find in some big cities. Moscow is big,
crowded and busy and the expatriate community reflects that feeling
from every aspect. The pursuit of money and top job contacts are the main goal. To live here, you must be outgoing, very confident,
financially secure and emotionally strong. To work here, you must have a little luck, connections, experience and extreme confidence. If you are non of these
things, you will hate the expatriate community here and you will not last the race.
Dear reader, please do not come here with any illusions of a warm and friendly
community or you will be slightly disappointed. Don't be naive and come with rose tinted glasses. Good luck with the move here.
Related stories: The expatriate
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Here is the first new edition of "how to" from me for 2013, who knows,
others may follow. When moving to Moscow and unless you are Count Dracula, you
will want to sleep at night. Sleeping is very important for sanity, health and
happiness and the winters in the city of Moscow are long and cold.
Winter usually brings with it snow sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. Many of us love snow, it silently falls onto the
ground and creates a soft white blanket and a beautiful silence and
freshness that fills the air. That is, it normally does, in Moscow snow is a curse
and hated by the Russian authorities. Snow and ice creates employment.
Men from the far regions of Russia, move to Moscow to literally scrape a
living here. They sweep dust and leaves in the summer and scrape and
shovel snow in the winter. They can do this activity, at all hours and everyday, for
about four or five months and they do this when there is hardly any
snow on the ground. They form the "black economy" and without them, the streets would
be hard to walk on in harsh winters. They are a blessing and a real curse. It must one of the hardest and worst jobs anyone could do, cold and back breaking. You will need to
survive this snow clearing process or you will go insane. Until you move to Moscow, you may have no idea of what I am talking about but here is how to get some sleep.
Your bedroom
When
moving into your new, rented Moscow, flat make sure your bedroom is not
facing a yard or near to a main street. This is hard to do in Moscow, as most
flats do face a street or yard but if possible, rent a flat this is high
up (10th floor) or as far away as possible from the pavement (sidewalk), road or back yard.
Devil snow men, in orange jackets, bash the ice, with long steel picks and then tractors come along and
scoop up the snow, putting it into a truck, where it is taken away and
turned into ice Russian cream, for export to the US and China. This winter, (my 4th
here) they have been working from midnight to 5 am. Yellow diggers, have
been scrapping their metal buckets; with sparks flying, along an almost naked road, to remove a
handful of snow or ice, when they reverse back, their trucks make bleeping noises. This pointless, insane activity, may happen due to some form of corruption
on a contract to clear a street or the men may simply be filling their paid time. Perhaps, Putin hates me and has read my blog and sees it as another western conspiracy? These snow devils, could not care less about your sleep and will make noise all
night if they have to. You will grow to hate them and you will lay in bed at night, fantasizing about shooting them with your night vision, high powered Magnum paintball rifle.
Sleep solutions
Drink large
quantities of Vodka or take strong horse sedatives (not recommended),
sleep in a cupboard or put ear plugs in your ears (the wax kind are the
best). Ear plugs are good but do tend to fall out and get lost in the
bed, often turning up months later in a sock, in a cup of tea or under your
pillow. Perhaps there is an ear plug gremlin, who takes them out of your
ears while you sleep to harvest the ear wax? You can also buy a shovel
and go out in the daytime and remove all the snow from the yard or
street yourself, but you may get some funny looks from these men in
orange jackets, who are paid to do it. You can
bribe them to let you sleep. Alternatively, If you have a baby, sharing your bedroom at night, throw used dirty nappies down on them from your
bedroom window.
Some
people, do not notice these night time noises and they are the lucky
ones but many do. If you have a small baby who wakes you up every few
hours, plus the noise outside, you will most probably go insane and will
be repatriated back home, to a secure mental facility. If you wear ear
plugs, you may not hear the baby. Some people shut the window at night.
Having a bedroom window open at night, is an old British tradition and
many a British public school boy, will remember nights when it was as
cold inside the room as it was outside the room. Fresh air in a bedroom is very
healthy. Russians fear open windows more than tax or a world without out
Gucci or Prada and most keep all windows shut at night. This would usually be
tolerable but in Russia, most flats have no heating "off" switch as the
heating is turned on and off by the city authorities, some say, by Putin himself. You can close you
windows and have less noise but then you will cook all night. In
reality, the only real solution is to have one window open and wear wax
ear plugs. Sleep well.
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