English Dad In Moscow: November 2011

November 30, 2011

For the love of their children

Overseas Filipino Workers

I recently interviewed a lady from the Philippines who is working in Moscow, to try to find out why people move here from a warm tropical paradise? I wanted to know how hard is to move here as an economic migrant, also known as a "OFW" (Overseas Filipino Worker) as I find it amazing that they move to a place like Moscow, to be so far away from home, in a country that has a climate and culture so alien to their own.

The large expatriate and middle class Russian community employs Filipino women for cleaning and for baby care jobs (nannies). Some of these women, work part time and some work full time at expatriate and Russian families. A lot of of these women are mothers and many are working long hours here as cleaners. They work illegally for about 250 rubles per hour, this is about six euro per hour and they are paid in cash. The average monthly wage back home in the Philippines is very low at about 250.00 USD (US Dollars) per month (188 euro). No wonder so many women leave their home country to earn more money here. Some of these women have many children and have to pay for their education and this is often the main motivation factor for moving to Moscow. It's easy to work here if you are an illegal worker, although getting here is far from easy and is very expensive. These desperate women borrow heavily to come here and have to pay it all back via monthly cash installments. They often, have to stay in Moscow for several years just to pay back the loan as well as send money back home to educate and feed their families. These women mostly come from poor agricultural areas of their country. To get a visa for Russia, you need an "invitation" letter real or invented, before you can apply for a visa. On top of visa expenses, many women have to pay corrupt immigration staff at Manila airport to leave the country, as the authorities know there are large numbers of people leaving to work as economic migrants. Corruption is as usual in the Philippines as it is in Russia.

The visa is arranged via an "agent" in Moscow. Women fly without a visa to Bangkok Thailand, as a visa is not required if you only stay a few days in Bangkok. They arrange the visa in Bangkok, via a contact (middle man) who texts or calls an "agent" in Moscow. The "agent" in Moscow has connections at the Russian embassy. He then easily arranges the visa, as he "knows" people that work within the embassy. The invitation letter and visa procedure for these desperate women, is a small industry that fills the pockets of many people down the line.

These Filipino women have to buy a return flight to Thailand from Manila as they may be refused a visa for Russia when the get to Thailand, although this fairly unlikely as many visas for Russia are got "under the table" via corrupt Russian officials. Like everything in life, if you have enough money and desperation, anything can be paid for. Desperation for work, often exploits these women and the total cost to move here can be about 3,250 USD. The average yearly wage back home in the Philippines is about 3,000 USD, so they end up borrowing more than a years pay or more to come here to work. Most of these women are good women and Catholic, they are here because they have to be, rather than because they want to be.

They are here for the love of their children because of economic necessity. These women make a huge sacrifice away from family and friends to work here in Moscow. We can only admire their strength and their courage.

Interview with Janet. A lady from the Philippines, working in Moscow. For privacy reasons, her age and full name is not shown here.

An Interview

Where are you from in the Philippines?

I am from the region of northern Luzon. The Philippines are made up of three regions. I come from a green agricultural area.

Do you have children?

I have two kids, one aged 19 and the other aged 14. My first child is at college and my second child is at high school. High school costs around 300 USD per year. College costs about 500 USD per year and I must pay for both to have an education.

How did you hear about working in Russia?
From a friend who is working here in Moscow.

Was it difficult to get to Russia?
No, I got my visa, via an agent in Russia who arranges visa "invitations". The visa only cost about 200 USD. My return flight from Manila to Thailand Bangkok cost 600 USD ( you have to buy a return in case the visa is refused in Thailand) to Thailand includes 2 nights hotel. The flight from Thailand to Moscow cost about 1,400 USD, I had to have an HIV test that cost 350 USD. The "Invitation" to come to Russia cost 2,000 USD. Total: 3,250 USD (including pocket money for Moscow). This excludes travel tax. The agent knows people at the Russian embassy and arranged the invitation for me. The journey here was long and tiring as I had to fly from Manila to Bangkok to Moscow.

Were you afraid to come to Russia and what were you afraid of?
I was a little nervous but I have friends and family already working in Moscow.

Was is expensive to come to Russia?
Yes very. I borrowed the money to come here.

Was it hard to get a visa?

No it was easy and all done via an agent.

Are you alone in Russia?
I have friends and relatives here. I would not have come here alone if I did not know anyone.

Why did you choose Moscow and why did you come here?
Because it was very easy to enter Russia. I came here for work because pay is low at home, one months pay is about 250.00 USD. I must pay for my children's education.

What do you like and not like about living in Moscow?
I like the pay in Moscow. I don’t like the climate. The average temp back home now in December is 30 degrees, there is no winter.

Is hard or easy to find work in Moscow and what do you do here?
It was easy to find work by word-of-mouth via friends here. I work as a cleaner and babysitter.

Do you miss family and home?
Yes very much.

Do you send any money home and how do you send it home?
I send money back for my family via a bank called Speed Remit.

Will you stay long in Moscow?
As long as is financially necessary.

What has been the hardest thing to adjust to living in Moscow?
The cold climate and it's difficult to find the fresh vegetables and fresh fish that we get back home .

Have you had any good or bad experiences of living in Moscow?
The police are always asking me for my documents.

Would you advice would you give other women like you who want to work in Moscow?

Not to carry too much money on you in Moscow as the police take it. Some people have to pay immigration staff at Manila airport 1,000 USD to let them leave the airport.

Are there many women from the Philippines living and working here?

A few thousand I think?

Do you know any women who have not liked working here?

No but some return home.

Did you arrive with any money?

Yes I arrived with about 700 USD to pay for rent, food and transport before I could find work in Moscow.

What is your language?

Tagalog, and Ilokano.

The facts

"The Philippines is the world’s fourth biggest recipient of remittances, after India, China and Mexico, according to the World Bank. Money sent home by permanent migrants and temporary workers account for $21.3bn, 11.7 per cent of gross domestic product, a big boost to incomes in a country where two-fifths of more than 90m Filipinos live on $2 or less a day". Financial Times, 12 October, 2011.

I have met some women from the Philippines who have been working in Moscow for over five years. The only reason for being here is to send money back home. They provide most of the cleaning and baby siting needs of the expatriate and Russian middle class communities and without them life would be hard to impossible for some of these families living in Moscow.

It may seem, that a Filipino woman is almost like a new Plasma TV here, every family should have one, a Filippo woman is a "must have" and is as important as a washing machine or an iPad. Despite these awful and stereotypical comparisons, these woman are a vital help. Most of these women are treated well by their employers and manage to help their families back home. The reality is that it really can be hard without an extra pair of hands to help you at home. Trying to manage the transport and schooling logistics for two or more small kids, when you are the only parent in charge, can be tough in a big city like Moscow. These Filipino women, are a welcome lifeline rather than a luxury or a "must have". Expatriate parents don't have extended family in the form of a mother-in-law to help them with the kids, these Filipino women, fill a much needed gap in the overseas tool kit of day to day survival for most expatriate parents here.

These Filipino women, move to Moscow by choice and do the best they can to make a living, although I am absolutely sure, if they could work back home and make a decent living there, none would move to Moscow. This would be a great loss to the parental expatriate community in Moscow. Treat any home help with respect, pay them fairly but always get a reference and take a copy of their passport before you hire anyone of any nationality to work in your family home.

Related stories see: Beautiful photos of the Philippines,

Finding a nanny here in Moscow, Those soft honest Russian police

November 23, 2011

Fun & winter games

The winter has arrived. Long, cold icy fingers have wrapped around Moscow while a schizophrenic snow falls down on the city, turning the streets to a watery slush. Frozen human spit sparkles on the ground like unpleasant diamonds in the hazy winter sun. The sickness season is with us in Moscow and with it comes cabin fever. When the long cold days arrive, most parents are stuck inside with only the four walls for company. Many people are sick with colds, flu and fevers, the medical clinics are busy.

My kid had bronchitis, which magically became laryngitis, (I'll explain below). We have been stuck inside all day, listening to his symphony of coughs, sniffs and whimpers. This sickness has been an ongoing thing for about a year now. We took our kid an allergy clinic that said it was an adenoid development problem but I begin to ask myself is it Moscow? We read on the Internet, that Moscow is an unhealthy city for children. When you visit the doctor, you go once for a diagnosis then return if its not better and have a blood test then return again to check that the symptoms have gone. So one condition or disease, can cost a lot of money with three or more visits. I believe the golden rule is when you have small kids that are snotty, never send them to school as it infects other children. Keep them at home and wait it out.

We go to one of the lesser known private medical clinics in Moscow, as we refuse to fill the pockets of medical criminals who legally print their own money via expatriate insurance payments. One of the big three private clinics here, change 150 Euro just for a consultation, excluding any blood tests (this price may have gone up?). A consultation plus blood tests at one of these clinics, can take the bill up to 500 Euro. I was told they charge 750 Euro for home doctors visit! I took my kid to the private Russian clinic that we use when the coughing started. It's a no frills clinic but usually delivers what you need as long as its not too complicated a medical issue beyond popular illnesses that inflict most of us. We saw a child doctor who made us get a blood test and an X-Ray and told us it was Bronchitis. Later in the day at home, our normally happy child had a bad coughing attack and seemed to be chocking, so we called out a doctor from another medical centre. We were told this doctors name and were recommended her for emergencies. She arrived promptly at our flat and within in moments said it was Laryngitis, she gave an injection and we put our sick angle to bed, by the next day our kid was a lot better. She charged us just 100 Euro for her visit, rather than 750 Euro.

I am convinced that all these clinics regardless of their quality, have got some kind of agreement with pharmaceutical suppliers, as whenever I go to the clinic, I leave with armfuls of drugs that are always exactly the same as before. My bathroom cupboard is bursting with drops, spays and syrups, all Russian brands. I now keep them all and when my family gets sick, I just use the ones I was given before. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't work. The clinic we use in Moscow, change 30 Euro for a consultation and not a 150 Euro and is a bargain by Moscow standards.

It's not all so easy and fun being a stay at home dad. I have my daily domestic routine and daily childcare duties to follow and I follow them religiously, like a Franciscan monk. A sick child, can push your nerves and strength to the end and this week has been my toughest period yet so far in Moscow. My wife arrives home from work exhausted after trying to reach bull shit, pointless targets in an understaffed, poorly run organization. She gets home late feeling exhausted and finds her dinner ready on the table. She eats her tin of cold baked beans, while our kid plays with the hairdryer in the shower and I watch the football on TV. Of course this is not totally true, I do actually take the beans out of the tin, I'm not a total slob. I'm an excellent, lover, cook and an all round superhero. When your kid is well and happy, everything is fine within the happy home of stay at home dads or mums.

They changed the winter times here in Moscow. Now it's not light when you wake up in the winter mornings but gets light at around 8.30 am. Trying to wake up from a nocturnal coma, when it's dark outside, takes some getting used to. On the positive side, it's light till around 6 pm in the evenings and so it feels less oppressive. Although the days are cold and the sky is often gray, the winter brings with it a crisp freshness. A snow covered Moscow, softens the hard concrete landscape, making it a better place to be than in the hot airless armpit summers. Winter can begin from around about November to January and lasts till April or even May. Everything works as usual, despite heavy snow. The roads are cleared and the snow is cleared by men from Tajikistan and other far away regions who earn small peanuts for their hard, degrading work. They come to Moscow for work and keep the city running, without them, Moscow would stop and would become a giant trash can. In the summer, they paint fences, they sweep leaves, and pick the streets clean like Gleaning birds on water buffalo's ass. If it were the United Kingdom in snow, the country would stop, game over. We could learn lessons from the Russians in winter and street management. The difference between these economic migrants in Moscow and our own back home, is that in the United Kingdom, (with exception to Polish job seekers), they arrive in London and take unemployment benefit, rather than actually physically work.

The seasons change quickly here, one weeks its summer, the next its Autumn and the next it's winter.We will continue to cough and splutter, we will take our nose drops, spays, ointments and tablets and hope we can get rid of the winter sickness as Christmas will soon be here and it will be our 3rd in the motherland.

November 18, 2011

New arrivals to Moscow

Below, you will find a basic list of general tips for expatriates moving to Moscow. For anyone who has not lived in Moscow before, some of the advice below may seem slightly exaggerated. Some advice below is definitely very exaggerated, while some of the advice is totally true. It's for you to decide what is true, false or exaggerated. You will only know the answer to this once you have actually lived in Moscow. All is written from an alpha males perspective.

Hopefully a few points are helpful to you and please be assured, everything below is said with a strong sense of irony and humor.

At the airport

When arriving at the airport, don't be surprised to see hundreds of bags wrapped up in kilometers clear plastic, Muscovite's love clear plastic almost as much as drilling. Be ready to wait in line for one lift to take you down to exit the terminal. Keep calm.
Be prepared to wait in line at the customer passport control from about ten minutes to thirty minutes. Don't smile at the passport control and make sure you have your immigration paper filled in, failure to do so will result in being shot or refused entry to the motherland.
Many men with gold teeth will wait at the arrival hall wanting you to take their a "taxi", if you do take a taxi, agree the price before getting in the car or your wallet will be emptied. You can always take a bus or shuttle train to the city centre.
Don't be shocked by the traffic and be ready to spend up to two hours stuck in the car to get from the airport to your hotel or apartment in the city. Take a copy of "War and Pace" by Tolstoy, you may finish reading it by the time you get to your final destination.
If you bring a pet with you , be ready to spend hours waiting at the airport, before you can collect your pet. If you have a pet that's not a giraffe, take your pet in a pet box, with you inside the aircraft cabin and not in the cargo hold, it will be quicker to leave the airport and will avoid lengthy customs. Alternatively, travel with your pet inside their pet box to keep them company on the long journey to Moscow, that way you will both leave the airport at the same time and perhaps save money on the flight.
If you smile at any official at the airport, don't expect a smile back, smiling is seen as weak and a waste of facial muscle energy. Always look at the ground with the guilt of a international drug smuggler.
Don't expect an ordered line at the check in desk and be ready to fight for your space in the line. Don't wear your camouflage jacket or your turban and certainly don't take any guns or petrol onto the plane.
Send your wife or girlfriend with the luggage to the airport ahead of you and stay in bed for longer before you take your flight, you will arrive less stressed.

The flat

When asked by the agent what your maximum rent price is, never give the max price as they will find you a flat on that maximum price as they get one months rent commission. Always suggest a low max figure and don't look desperate.
You may be lucky enough to have a personal assistant or someone in HR to find you a letting agency and flat before you move to Moscow but if not then you will have to do the donkey work yourself. Go to Moscow a month before you move here, alone or with your family, rent a short term let apartment for a week or two and hunt for a flat. There are many agencies here and they are fairly good at finding what you want in your price budget. Be totally clear what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to the agency in terms of what you want in your new home. Never assume they know what you want as you will be shown some flats that are totally unsuitable. Never rent a flat if your wife or girlfriend has not seen it and approved it first, you will save yourself many weeks of arguments and no sex. See: renting and finding a flat.
Don't rent a flat from anyone who is not Russian as they are probably an American or British foreigner married to a Russian and they will get very rich renting out their wife's grandmothers flat (in fact, often the flat will be rented out while the grandmother is still living in it). They will spend your rent money on wine, hookers, cards and golf.
Expect to possibly rent a flat that has a mirrors on the bathroom ceiling and plastic jacuzzi bath dated from the late 1980's. See: Hall of Horror.
When you look at any flats, you are not encouraged or expected to ask questions about the flat or its facilities or problems, this is only done once you agree to rent the flat or after you have singed the rental contract. If you look at any flats and see wallpaper with a fried egg patten as I once did, keep a straight face and run for the hills.
Check the owner allows pets, wives and children. Not all do.
Take photos of the flat when you first move in to protect yourself from being accused of causing any damage to flat. This will cover you when you leave the flat and want your deposit back, however don't expect to get your deposit back as many flat owners use your deposit to pay for repairs or for their summer holiday. Don't remove any internal walls, windows or re model the bathroom as you may not get your deposit back.
Make sure the windows and doors are child safe and if not ask the owner and the agent to make them safe before you sign the renting agreement.
Make sure the lift stops at your floor and not in between the 4th and 5th floor.
Expect the flat owner to knock on your door every month for the rent, bank transfer for rent payment is rare in Moscow. Don't be surprise if the rent is increased by 5% at anytime during the rental agreement.
Set your rent at a fixed amount and in a fixed currency for at least two to three years and pray.
If you come home and find the flat owner in bed with your wife or husband, it may be time to leave Russia and your marriage.
Try to rent a flat that has at least one air-con unit as it can be very hot in the summer and don't rent a flat that faces the afternoon sun or you will cook like a sausage in the oven.
Be ready to hear 'remont' (flat renovation) noises going on at anytime above you or below you. This noise is usually drilling. Electric drills are loved here and Muscovite's love using their electric drills sometimes even when they have nothing to build, they just love drilling and making holes in walls. If they do this, buy a speaker and record the sound of a mad dog barking. Place the speaker on the floor, turning it on maximum volume at antisocial hours to get your revenge. I tried this method but used the recorded sound of wild baboons having sex. The drilling stopped soon afterwards and I sleep well at night now.
If you a re moving to Moscow to teach English, many schools provide some form of free or cheap accommodation in the wrong part of town, while you work at the school for a few Rubles per day. They will also arrange your visa for you and sell you out as a visiting masseur.
If you have a neighbour who keeps snakes and who drinks beer on the bench outside at 8 am in the morning, don't be alarmed, make friends with him he could help you in a tight fix.

Shops, services & sightseeing

Be ready to pay large amounts of money for any food, if you shop in the city centre. It is best to shop at one of the big international supermarkets and far cheaper. If you shop in the New Arbat, your wallet will be emptied for a loaf of bread and a packet of cheese.
Don't be shocked by the large number of people that you will see at the supermarket and be ready to wait in line behind about eight people to pay for your food shopping. Supermarkets in Russia don't have express checkouts like they do back in the United Kingdom where you have the help of a very old person or angry student to bag up your shopping for you. In Moscow, bag up your shopping as fast as you can or the checkout person will send it flying down the conveyor belt at very high speed sending all your food onto the floor. Guard your space in line with aggression and with cunning planning, use your shopping cart to block other shoppers from going in front of you to checkout till. Use your shopping cart as a lethal weapon to guard your space.
Don't be shocked if you are asked by any cashier in any shop if you have the correct money. They see it as the customers job to give them change for their till. You will not be smiled at and may have your change thrown back at you. Keep calm and smile.
If you need a haircut, don't go in the centre of Moscow and take a Russian speaking friend with you. Foreigners are charged more because they are foreign and smell of cabbage and old socks. If possible, cut your hair yourself using a sharp pair of scissors or an electric chainsaw.
At museums in Russia, you are expected to take off your coat and leave with an old unsmiling coat women, she will give you a plastic coat ticket. Don't lose this plastic ticket or you may be arrested or shot. If you take a child with you to museums, don't be shocked to get bad looks from the female museum staff and don't smile at anytime. Museums are not meant to be fun and speaking is strongly discouraged. Children should be eaten, only seen and certainly never heard.
At supermarkets, you are not allowed to take your shopping trolley into any shops in the shopping mall. Security guards look at all customers as thieves, so be prepared to be checked or strip searched. At many shops, you are expected to leave any bags in a shop locker and the security staff will put your bag inside a plastic bag and staple the handles together. In Russia, all customers are seen as thieves and are privileged to be allowed to enter any shop.
When you go into a shoe or clothes shop don't be shocked if you see five shop staff all standing about chatting, you are expected to rudely interrupt their conversation and to beg them for help, offer them money if necessary.
At any shop, don't expect to the correct price on clothes or shoes and you may even see the wrong price. Be surprised if you see the right price, in fact be surprised if you see any price.
At restaurants, expect your dining partners plate of food to arrive first and for your food to arrive cold and after they have finished eating their meal. Expect to get your starter and your main course at the same time. Make your beer last all night as they are very expensive in Moscow restaurants.
Don't buy bottles of water get it delivered each month to your flat. You will need four to five large bottles per month. Always have the correct change and delivery men hate to carry change and will shoot you if you don't pay them the correct cash.

Driving, public transport & walking

Any driving that you have been used to in your own country does not apply here. Lane sharing is expected and never thank another driver if he or she lets you in front of them. Politeness and manners are forbidden by Russian driving law.
When driving and turning left or right, never signal it's seen as a waste of physical energy.
When driving at speed, it is encouraged to use your mobile phone and to never stop at zebra crossings. People crossing them are there to be run over.
If you have a pet, (preferably a poodle) drive your car with your pet sitting on your lap or in the drivers seat. They are better than any car navigation system. One bark for left, two barks for right.
When driving in Moscow do as some other parents do. If you have baby or small child, put them in the front seat, they will keep you company while you drive. They would be lonely on the back seat and act as an additional airbag in the event of an accident.
In Moscow, park where you like, except in the Kremlin (on Sundays between 9.00 and 12.00 am that is when Vladamir Putin does open air judo practice). Parking on the pavement, (sidewalk) at an angle on the pavement and across a zebra crossing or on a sharp corner will earn you respect and is generally encouraged here. For examples of typical cars and parking see: Parking & cars
At petrol (gas) stations, be ready to have your fuel put into your car for you by a pump man from Tajikistan. If there is no man to help you, leave the garage, doing it yourself is seen as insane, physically exhausting and is bad manners.
In Russia, you pay for your petrol first then have it put in your car for you by a man who is paid peanuts (see 7 above). Unleaded fuel, is not in a green pump like it is back home but is in a red pump. Diesel is not available in Russia. Green ecology is totally forbidden in Russia.
Don't expect to be able to clean your car window at petrol (gas) stations, buckets and water are not provided and are forbidden. In the winter, cars should be as black as possible with dirt and snow at least 5mm thick covering the entire cars body. Seeing out of the car window to drive is not a necessity.
Car headlights are optional in Moscow as are car number registration plates.
If you are an expat, you are expected to have your own private driver, not having your own driver in Moscow is seen as very strange and very poor.
Always carry your car documents with you including your passport in a man handbag, failure to so could result in being shot or relived off all your money and credit cards by a traffic policemen. If you are dark skinned, be prepared to be harassed by the police as they can be slightly racist.
Try to have black windows on your car and if possible use and drive a BMW, Mercedes, Range Rover or Bentley. Black windows ware more important than the engine.
When getting off a metro train, be ready to push your way on or off the train. Never stand in front of the door inside the train or you may be ejected from the train by people getting off and thrown in a heap onto the platform floor. See: How to use the Moscow Metro.
When taking the escalator, never stand on the left of the steps as you are blocking an express route used be crazy people who want to get fit.
On a bus, tram or train, be ready to sit next to a person that has eaten ten garlic cloves for breakfast or who is drinking a beer at eight o'clock in the morning. Carry a clothes peg for your nose.
When crossing any main road in Moscow, always to use a road underpass it will be safer. If you have a pushchair stroller, make sure there are steps with a ramp alternatively, if you feel lazy, leave your baby or young child home watching the TV while you go out for more Vodka.
If you use a zebra crossing, don't ever expect cars to stop for you even if you are half way across the road. Look left and right and never cross while talking on your mobile phone or you will be sent home as strawberry jam in a wooden box.
When walking, always have one eye on the pavement (sidewalk) as your shoe may make contact with a large sticky ball of green human spit. Spitting is loved in Moscow, almost as much as drilling, so be very careful.
If you are male and get lost on the Moscow metro, always target a pretty girl to help you with train directions, she may even direct you to her bed if you are handsome and very charming like I am.
Above all keep calm, meditate, take up naked yoga, become a Buddhist, ballet dancer, join a new wild religion and remember make the most of your time in Moscow.

The seasons

Summers are often hot and airless in Moscow, make sure you have good summer clothes or wear no clothes at all, as it can reach over 30 degrees between June and August. Here is a romantic and nice video of the seasons. Crudely speaking, its like your grandmas fridge freezer in the winter and like the sweaty armpit of a Brazilian high jumper in the summer.
Winters can be very cold so make sure you are fully covered when going outside. If you are a man, buy some man tights and wear them under your trousers, you will feel like a woman. Basic winter equipment is as follows: Long coat, gloves, woolen or fur hat, scarf, winter socks, jumper, tights and plastic or leather waterproof winter boots. Snow arrives anytime from November to January, subject to climate changes.
When walking in the street in the winter, be careful when stepping off pavements as you may step into a deep black pond of water that you thought was solid snow, you will sink into icy water up to your knees. The roads and pavements can be covered in freezing dirty black water and are these puddles and ponds are placed there deliberately by KGB operatives to annoy all foreigners and unpatriotic Russians.
Be ready to be kept awake by bright sunlight at midnight in some summer months and to be woken up at 3 am by trash men or by drunks or by the neighbour drilling upstairs.

Adjusting & surviving Moscow

Have a good sense of humor and throw away the rule book of expectations.
Don't compare prices to your home country or you will go mentally insane.
Join a gym or if you are a woman join a knitting, jam making, breast milk, yoga club or a breast milk yoga club.
Take regular breaks outside of Moscow or Russia or you will go insane.
Get out and meet new people. Try to avoid American expats in Moscow who work in (or who claim to work in) 'relocation' (moving), 'consulting', oil, construction, law, finance and investment. This will be expanded on in detail later.
Don't just stay in Moscow, get out to other places in Russia.
Get out and meet new people. This includes other international expats and make friends with Russians, they don't all bite, they do walk upright and can often be very friendly.
If you speak another language other than your own native tongue, try and learn Russian, life will be easier and you will be respected by Russian for trying and it's essential for ordering a beer in a bar.
Get a TV package that includes TV from your home country. This will help you to feel less isolated here, then you will be able to watch the BBC news and feel more depressed than before you had a TV.
Take an Internet subscription for all your pornography needs.
Use a pay as you go mobile phone service as contacts tie you for two years or more.
Smoke and drink lots of vodka, cigarettes and vodka are very cheap here, so don't worry about your liver or lungs.
Bring to Moscow any loved preserved foods or pharmaceutical products that you use regularly at home in your own country. The testicle cream ointment that helps your rash, the tablets that help with your imaginary voices and the cactus jam spread that you love so much for breakfast. It is possible to get many famous foreign products here in Moscow but you will pay considerably more than back home.
Join a forum under another name but be careful of forums as online bullying does go on, never publish your email or phone number on a forum. Use travel and expat forums to ask questions when you want to know such things as where to dry clean your socks, teach English to beautiful Russian girls, where to get your cat washed and de-wormed or where to sell your yoga mat . Online forums do contain a lot of nuts but can occasionally have some helpful and friendly people on them who will be happy to answer your question about Moscow. Massage their ego and be polite, they will usually yield the answers that you seek. The general rule is, be safe and be sensible on forums.
Moscow is so rich in history once you look past the concrete and modernity. Look past this and live and breath its history and positive culture. Living in Moscow, will be a good and bad experience that you will never forget.
There are few things here that are cheap here. Petrol (gas), Russian beer, Vodka and cigarets. Surprisingly, a monthly family shop at an international supermarket, is cheaper than back home if you buy non 'luxury' items such as imported cheeses, French jams and wine.
Please note my tongue in cheek advice is all said with humor, however some points above are serious and totally true, the rest can be taken with a pinch of salt. I don't pretend to be any expert or to have all the answers but I do have some experience and hopefully I have helped you here or at least made you laugh.

Pages