Just when I thought I could run for the hills and be free from baby poo and dribble, another baby is due to touch down, this time on planet Moscow.
The last kid was born in Slovakia and I must say the birth experience was easy and not stressful. As my wife lay in hospital, I sat at home, feet up, shoes off, beers and crisps within easy reach on the sofa, while I watched movies at home all day. This is not entirely true but more of a fantasy than a reality for me. The truth is, I was with her in the delivery room, pushing with her and feeling just as exhausted as she did. My new born baby plopped out in a bag and I filmed the whole event on my mobile phone and cut the umbilical cord, it was fantastic experience. At the Slovak hospital, they were very professional and the doctor was a very nice guy and a very good doctor. I felt we were in good safe hands at the hospital.
The last kid was born in Slovakia and I must say the birth experience was easy and not stressful. As my wife lay in hospital, I sat at home, feet up, shoes off, beers and crisps within easy reach on the sofa, while I watched movies at home all day. This is not entirely true but more of a fantasy than a reality for me. The truth is, I was with her in the delivery room, pushing with her and feeling just as exhausted as she did. My new born baby plopped out in a bag and I filmed the whole event on my mobile phone and cut the umbilical cord, it was fantastic experience. At the Slovak hospital, they were very professional and the doctor was a very nice guy and a very good doctor. I felt we were in good safe hands at the hospital.
Baby, version 2, will be born in the motherland, here in sunny Moscow. My wife's head is spinning around, steam is coming out her nose and she is in a permanent bad mood, I may call an exorcist to remove her demons. Nothing that I say or do is right. It's been like this for several months now, I am a beaten and abused husband (more so than usual). It must be her hormones at war. To suffer a bloated stretched stomach, wind, back aches and bad sleep for about seven of the nine months. It's hard for the woman as well. Joking aside, for seven months she has to suffer, I admire any woman that has a baby. No wonder she can be aggressive. At home, I keep a low profile and walk on tip toe, waiting to get my wife back and to once again have sleepless nights and endless nappy duties. Despite this prospect, I am happy and blessed to have another.
We threw away all the baby clothes after baby version 1 arrived, I had hung up my baby making tool kit and resigned myself to having just one kid. I was grateful for one. Little did I know that another would later come and arrive in Russia. I do know 'the birds and bees' and how to make a baby but I did not think I had the right fuel to make another, the first kid took five years to make and my fuel was a bit like Russian petrol (gas), watered down and dirty. Well to my surprise, I did make another one with my rocket fuel and it's all action stations getting ready for a Moscow birth. We have been shopping in Moscow in the sales for new baby clothes. The only time to buy any clothes in Moscow, is in the winter sales. You will not save much money but during this rare window of price normality, prices here can be comparable or the same as Europe, rather than being 30% higher than Europe. When this window opens, go shopping and spend your money.The baby business is worth billions and most parents are sucked into its sale vortex, buying all unnecessary things for their baby. Parents survived hundreds of years ago without plastic things, electronic gadgets and pointless nutrient powders but we are all conned and fooled into buying them as we think it will help our babies. We buy into the baby market like blind rats on a huge sinking ship.
I have begun to think that arranging the paper work to have a baby here in Russia is more painful than actually giving birth but then I would think that as I'm not a woman, thank god. To be legal, you have to get marriage certificates translated, stamped and certified in the country of marriage, get passports translated and stamped and wait for hours in pointless, dimly lit, old offices in Moscow to get bits of paper that prove the baby was born in Moscow and from the parents who claim to be its parents. This process cost money and takes time, a lot of time. We have not begun this process yet but have both begun to fill with dread at what is involved prior to actual the birth. I feel exhausted just thinking about it. In Russia, as foreign parents, you first give birth to lots of stamped paper, then give birth to the baby and then give birth not more stamped paper. Put simply, it's paper, baby, paper.
Most foreigners, go to a private clinic in Moscow and having a baby can cost anything from 3,000 euro and up to and over 20,000 euro. You can choose the doctor by experience, like choosing a car by engine size or a holiday abroad. We have yet to choose one but if I see a young guy, with spots on his face and a brace on his teeth, fresh out of doctor school, I will not book him to deliver our baby. They say you can see the doctors cars parked outside the hospital, cars such as Porches, BMW's etc all purchased via cash, from desperate foreigners and rich Russians. Baby delivery is big business in Russia and many doctors get rich doing it. I have the same disrespect for these doctors as I do for private medical clinics in Moscow but many foreigners have no choice other than to use these private clinics and private hospitals, as the Russian state hospital system is hard to know and hard to use if you are not a Russian. Insurance is a necessary evil when living abroad. The insurance companies have not helped the situation, as many insurance companies blindly pay what ever the insured person asks for.
Most foreigners, go to a private clinic in Moscow and having a baby can cost anything from 3,000 euro and up to and over 20,000 euro. You can choose the doctor by experience, like choosing a car by engine size or a holiday abroad. We have yet to choose one but if I see a young guy, with spots on his face and a brace on his teeth, fresh out of doctor school, I will not book him to deliver our baby. They say you can see the doctors cars parked outside the hospital, cars such as Porches, BMW's etc all purchased via cash, from desperate foreigners and rich Russians. Baby delivery is big business in Russia and many doctors get rich doing it. I have the same disrespect for these doctors as I do for private medical clinics in Moscow but many foreigners have no choice other than to use these private clinics and private hospitals, as the Russian state hospital system is hard to know and hard to use if you are not a Russian. Insurance is a necessary evil when living abroad. The insurance companies have not helped the situation, as many insurance companies blindly pay what ever the insured person asks for.
Having a baby here will be an experience, an experience and one that fills me with dread and with excitement. I don't know how I am going to look after two but I have a feeling I'll need a lot of strength and a lot of organization. This blog, may be consigned to the shelf for now.
Related stories: Getting married & having a baby state side in Moscow, Medical treatment for expats A tale of two doctors , Life Olympics, Registering a birth in Moscow
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Hi, I met the same problem this July, giving birth to my baby. I'm a foreigner myself, so as my boyfriend, but I speak fluent Russian. We did a lot of research about the clinics and doctors and paperwork, so if you guys will need help to figure out something - feel free to contact us. It was hard for me in Russian, I can't even imagine how does it feels if you don't know it. Here is my e-mail, please don't publish it ))) *********** Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks I removed your email. Any tips or experience you can give would be interesting and a help. I hope you and baby are doing OK.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Me and my boyfriend both faced the problem of being not Russian citizens in Moscow. I might sound pessimistic but if I were you i would rather choose to go back to your citizenship country whatever it is, to deliver the baby and then came back to Moscow avoiding the nightmare of dealing with the locals. It can be bearable if there are no medical complications. Every clinic located inside of Moscow will be charging enormous amount of money like you said around 100000 rub as a start price for foreigners. I personally choose a clinic in Luybertsy. Its was a bit Soviet-kind, but i was able to be there with my boyfriend all the time, stay in the same room with our baby. I spend 5 days there and it cost 30 000 for staying and another 35 000 for the delivery. the room was nice, big bed for us, a shower with a hot water, no AC though. The cost included a food for me, but sometimes they cooked smth that is not appropriate for breasfeeding moms. There also was a possibility to cook yourself.
ReplyDeleteWhat i would start from - is a doctor, the place is really a secondary thing. In Lyubertsy I had a doctor who seemed a professional to me and i trusted her, she was my surgeon as well and took care of me during the all period I was staying there. She didn't demand any unnecessary tests from me, and did most of the tests herself in the clinic the day before surgery. Unlike the doctor in the local Euromedprestizh clinic, whom i visit during the pregnancy, she made me have the whole bunch of tests, some of which are not even need for pregnant women. When i've visited the other doctor and she took a look on all these tests, he said that i was teated like a prime-minister according to the number of unnecessary tests taken.
The paperwork is tough, cause in Russia you have to prepare some papers before you'll be admitted to the hospital, otherwise it will be a nightmare. This will be a medical certificate including all tests taken during the pregnancy. It's a must, i found no way to avoid it.
After the birth it will be a part of your discharge paper, which you'll need to get a birth certificate from the local authorities.
Thanks Elana very helpful and interesting. Hope you and baby are well and Happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you and your wife. I have never seen a country that demands so much paperwork for every minor issue, let alone a birth. I have worked abroad in a number of Countries for the past 10 years, so I have a bit of insight into gov workings. I got married on Dec 28th here in Russia. I am a foriegner, and my wife is Russian. It literally took months to get the required paperwork in order for the Russian government. I am a Canuck, and my gov supplied what the Russian gov demanded in very short order, however it literally took months for the Russian gov to verify all documents. At the marriage ceremony, more signatures, and of course more money to pay out, cash only of course. It was sooooooo Romantic LOL. ZAGS is simply a money generating arm of the government. Anything that has to do with the government requires endless paperwrok, which requires endless employees!! As you have probably noticed, in all the gov agencies each person only does ONE simple job, stamps the document (my persoanl favorite), then passes the document to another person to verify, stamp etc, etc, etc. Multi-tasking, and employee responsibility is a Western concept. Computer data bases, are a thing of the future in Russia. My wife has literally binders full of documents. When I ask her why she needs all this shit, she tells me it is the only way to proove you exist. Most gov agencies can not "pull" up information on their computers, if they even have one. Most write information down in a simple notebook at their side. Where the information goes is anyones guess. The head of security at our office (Western Company) is an X KGB fellow. Great guy, and very helpful. One day in a general discussion about documentation, endless paper for every occasion, and data bases, I posed the question of what would happen if I got in a serious accident, and could not speak. Would the gov data base have my medical history etc. He just laughed, and said you would be in trouble, as no medical records are kept on data bases. If you had a serious illness for example the medics, or hospital personell would have no idea. Sounds scary! To end my rant, I pose the question??? Where in hell does the Russian Government keep all the paperwork they compile every day, and where does all the cash end up?? In a city of ~ 13 Million people the "PAPER & CASH" building must be one of the biggest buildings in the world. I truly wonder if they could ever track someone down in their system. My KGB friend laughs and says No Way?? My advice would be to get out of Russia for your babies birth. That being said, when you come back into Russia with your new child the endless paperwork to register the baby may make paying the ridiculous medical extortion fees seem like a good choice. I wish you and your family the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks anonymous, very interesting and all very true. At the clinic we go to for general medical things, there is a one woman that helps the Dr, one one woman that takes the cash and one woman that stamps the insurance form.
ReplyDeleteDespite Moscow's eccentricities and costs I would rather live here than in London.