January 24, 2011

Moscow arrival pinball games

The plane touches down in Moscow, your ball has been shot up the pinball machine in the arrivals game. You have arrived in your new country as an expat, alone or with your family. Butterflies fill your stomach. You feel nervous and excited, like the first day at school.

You will probably have been to Moscow before, to look for a flat or for your job interview, so its not so new to you. You will have to wait in line in a dimly lit custom's area. You will wait in line clutching your passport feeling apprehensive, guilty as drug trafficker, although you are not a drug trafficker, will you pass through customs OK? Your visa is all in order, you checked the visa dates before you left, people queue silently, pushing and jumping spaces in attempt to save time, anger rises up in you, keep calm and breath. The customs man or woman seems to spend ages looking at your passport examining it as if you had just arrived from Mars. Unsmiling, they eventually scan it and stamp it and you are on your way, 400 pinball points. Ping. You have bounced off the first marker on the Moscow pinball machine, you are on your way to a top score. You shoot up to the next marker, to the baggage claim, 200 pinball points.

Hopefully, all your luggage will have arrived, you will see an area near the baggage belt full of unclaimed or lost baggage, this is the baggage grave yard. Its all wrapped in cling film (magic wrap, see link) looking like food aid bound to Africa. You wait and wait, nervously looking at he belt for your black or brown Samsonite suitcase that's been with you to so many countries before, like an old best friend. You hope your baggage is not in the cling film grave yard, that's near the baggage claim. Praise the lord, your stuff arrives, perhaps a bit scratched but everything is here, open the champagne 50 pinball points. Ping. The next step, is to pass through the arrivals section, yet more Police wait by the door smoking and looking at you suspiciously, walk past them, don't look at them, eyes fixed ahead, the door is in sight. Ping. You pass through and are now free and in Moscow. Taxi drivers hassle you, 'taxi' , 'taxi' they say. Ignore these locusts and look for your pick up driver, he should be there holding up a coffee stained bit of paper, with your name scribbled on it. You can take a taxi but agree the price first or see your wallet emptied of its cash or take the train into the city centre, (if you have arrived at one of the airports that has a city link). Load up the car or train and get it in. Ping. 100 pinball points.

You will notice, probably not for the first time, the smell of traffic smoke and see the thick traffic. It takes a few hours to get into the centre, so be patient your long journey is not over yet. You shoot up the pin ball machine and bounce and ping around on you way down to score a final Moscow hit. Ping. Arrival! You are here, past the passport control, past the baggage collection, into the arrivals, not blown up, outside the terminal. Game over.

A lot of your pinball arrival experience and score, will depend on the following factors:






- A driver has been arranged to meet you - 50 points
- If you have a pet or pets (see link) to collect at the airport - 100 points
- Your luggage is not lost or damaged - 50 points
- If you take a taxi, bus or train to your flat or hotel - 100 points
- If you have a flat - 300 points
- Pre-arrival organization - 400 points
- Correct visa dates and the correct type of visa - 400 points
- If you have a pram (stroller) it arrives at the airport with you and is undamaged - 20 points
- Your kids or wife/husband arrives with you in Moscow and not in Mongolia- 5 points
- Survive possible bomb attacks - 25 points
- You read this wonderful blog before you left home - 500 points

After arriving, here your journey is just beginning. It will take you several months to get used to Moscow but you will get used to it. Be organized, be brave and all will be fine. Your score: Top score !

Update: I only found about the bomb attack at an airport in Moscow today on the day it happened after I had written this post, mad coincidence or 6th sense? Call it what you will.  RIP to the poor people that died and burn in hell to the evil suicide bombers. I hope the Russian authorities are taking a proactive stance, rather than just shrugging their shoulders as usual and sacking down the responsibility chain of command.

7 comments:

  1. Funnily enough just as you were posting this I was playing the pinball machine myself at Sheremetyevo... I was top scorer (if I do say so myself) until the pre-booked taxi driver decided to go to 1 instead of 2 and was then 45 minutes late...

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  2. I must be a mind reader !! and do you find my blog interesting potty mummy?

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  3. pretty ironic you should post that at almost exactly the same time suicide bomber(s) attacked DME and blew up a few dozen people and injured hundreds. . .

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  4. I did not know about it, I just read about tonight !!!! Its not safe here !!

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  5. - lifting your luggage up and pulling it down on all stairs/borders while transferring it from the Aeroexpress to your hotel/flat in metro and everywhere because of total absenсe of any rampant - 150 points.

    thank you for your blog, I found it very interesting!

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  6. Thanks Dee Hamma if it makes people smile or is interesting I am happy.

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  7. Sorry to do this as a post but I couldn't get a message to you by other means.

    Dear English Man in Moscow,

    My name is Tim and I am the host of a new show. The focus of the show is on the lives of foreigners in Russia. We want to show people in Russia some really unique and interesting foreigners and do an interview with you.

    Thank you for your time,

    Tim

    ReplyDelete

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