Phobias and fears- Flying from abroad

While shaving my feet today, inspiration returned to my creative online one man authorship. As a result, I will continue to bore you dear reader with my occasional rants and exclamations on life and the universe. We are soon to take a holiday out of the "motherland" Russia to froggy land France. The thought of escaping the daily grind of Moscow fills me with joy and my heart is beating to a happier tune but I hate flying. I never used to mind flying but my fear arrived about 10 years ago through no bad experience or life changing event, it just arrived unannounced and unwelcome. Living abroad as an expat or "international gypsy" a person without a fixed home, is not the best situation to be in if you hate being airborne at 35,000 feet in a aluminum cigar shaped coffin. However, that's the situation I am in. To help myself to actually board a plane, I take Valium. I take three 5 milligram tablets. One when I arrive at the airport, one when checking in and one in the departure lounge. Occasionally, depending on the weather, crowds and creaming kids, I may slurp a beer in the toilets while my wife is not looking as an extra kick to my self therapy.

By the time I get on the plane, I am smiling innately and madly at everyone. The cabin attendant could tell me trousers were on fire and I would just smile back and talk gibberish.  What is the cause of my paranoia? I have also developed IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) this usually effects women but not one to follow the crowds I suffer from it. The symptoms are stomach pains, bloating and gas (farts or "flatulence"), the cause is thought to be stress and bad diet. The other day, I went for a Thia massage lasting 1 hour. It was 1,000 rubles. Its an aggressive form of massage where a Thia girl, so thin that she looks as if she has not eaten for a week, beats you with god like strength to massage your entire body, pulling you in every direction. This is fine in a masochistic rough kind of way, but if you have IBS, it's not so fun. I spent one hour clenching my buttocks to retain a fart that would have been herd in Minsk if I had released it. Keeping them in is painful its just lucky I am not a vicar, a conductor or other such job that requires silence and seriousness. When I left the massage center I let rip, I am sure the surrounding blocks shook but it felt good to finally have gas relief.

Flying is stressful and even worse when you have a busy airport, screaming kids, miserable airport staff and rude cabin attendants. However its good to get away from my self imposed exile and to breath clean air and be in a different place to now. Who knows my IBS may ease up?

Technical issues

 Server not found

I have been trying for a few days to view my blog via "conventional" ways only to be told on my computer that "the server is not found" and yet others can see my blog. Could this be censorship of the Russian kind? Will I find myself cast in irons and trucked off to deep Siberia for the next 20 years? Have I said too many negative things about Russia? This seems unlikely when I am just a boring stay at home dad and not an international spy or a Human rights activist.

Its easy to become paranoid, especially when you live in Russia but I think it maybe more a technical issue rather than state control, although nothing is what it seems. I have lost the energy to post on here these days. I have run out of inspiration dear reader. I bid you farewell for now.

Update: if you like this blog please make a donation it will go to a charity. I have also made a crude guide to Moscow that you may find useful. See to the right on this web page and scroll down.

Light, water & heat- Moscow style

I need to rant and get this off my chest! For the past four or five weeks its been very light here in Moscow. I noticed it starts to gets light at about 3.30 to 4.00 in the morning and remains light till 11.00 at night or even later. If its been a hot day, its not pleasant in our Moscow flat. We have no air conditioning and the sun comes round from midday and shines into our bedroom, living room and kitchen, heating the rooms up to almost sauna conditions. The buildings bricks suck in all the heat like a giant sponge, retaining the heat. You can touch the bricks at 8.00 at night and they are still warm. As a result, you slowly cook and have the light in your eyes unable to sleep. Now to add salt to the wound, the hot water will go off from the 17th of June. We will cook in the summer and cook in the winter as the heating is communal and cannot be turned off or down.

Every year in Moscow and perhaps all of Russia, "they" the "powers that be", turn off the hot water, I have been told its because they clean out the pipes. Why don't they just replace the pipes? We have a small electric water heater, so we should get a warm trickle from that, however when its hot I won't want a hot shower.

Dear reader, If you rent a flat here make sure the flat has a separate water heater boiler and air conditioning if the sun hits your flat in the afternoon.