Running, potato, pancakes and curry.

Yesterday was fun. I went on a run with many others for charity for an organization called Downside Up. We met by the river at Vorobievy Gory. This is a nice stretch of walk way along the Moscow river. The sun came out and it was quite hot. There was the choice of 1,3 or 5 km. I chose 5 km being the athletic man that I am. The run route was a bit complicated, as if you were doing the 5 km you had to run to a point on the route, turn around go back to the start, then turn around and go back to the end and go back again to finish. Consequently, I put all my energy into it thinking I was at the finish, only then to be told by a referee to turn around and go back again. I put my best into it and ran as fast as a middle aged man can run, fat wobbling and sweat pouring off me, I arrived at the finish exhausted but acted as if it was a just a small walk to save face and to look tough. There were many different people there and one or two nice female bottoms in tight Lycra that were easy on the eye.

This was good training, as although I run 5 km most days on a running machine, I plan to run in the Moscow marathon in September. After the race, we went with friends up the the big state Moscow university on the hill overlooking Moscow and ate a jacket potato and pancake. In the evening, I ate a curry as I thought I had burned my fat for the day and so could allow myself to be naughty. Eating out here is not cheap. A single curry dish dish that would be 7 or 8 pounds in the UK is 20 pounds here. A meal for two that included two beers a cocktail and a few dishes, came to 60 pounds but we were given a 20% discount due to my wife job. I think we will only eat out here a few times per year. It was not like a British curry but an average copy. Its hard to find a good curry when living in another country and I have never been able to replicate a good curry during my time of living abroad. See Maharaja Moscow. Average food, expensive but very nice and friendly staff. Short walk from the metro.

I hope to do more for charity via sports and running as I want to put something back into life as it has given me a lot.

Finding a nanny here in Moscow

There are many Filipino girls/women here in Moscow. As an expat mother or father, you may like to find help with childcare or cleaning if you can afford it or need it. You may want to have some time to yourself, to get out the flat to escape the walls and daily nappy poo routine, you may want to work part time here teaching English or do other paid work. Some people take a nanny and cleaner part time. This can be a few afternoons or mornings per week. Finding a nanny (childminder) and cleaner is not so hard but may take time to find a good one.

You can advertise for one on the internet or place an advert on the Living in Moscow news letter. Many people (myself included) find a nanny cleaner, by word of mouth via the expat community. You can often find one who is the friend or relation of another who is looking for work here. You can also find one by just going to one of the many playground areas in and around where you live. Many nannies will be there and you can just go there and chat to them. These girls are not professional nannies and so are cheap. Many parents in the UK could only dream of having a full or part time nanny (childminder) and its seen as a luxury, here its a reality and you don't need to be a mega rich expat to have one. Russian nannies will cost more and want full time hours and are a luxury. When you arrive in Moscow, its scary and you will feel very lost, isolated and you will not know where to begin. I can help you as I was in that situation. Moscow is a big place and you will be an invisible face in the crowd. It will take time to adjust.

Escape to the country-mosquitos,Syrniki & churches

This weekend, we went to the countryside 200 km from Moscow. I told my wife we should leave at lunch time to escape the Moscow glue (the traffic) but needless to say, she did not arrive home till 3.00 with her work friend. It was planned that me, my son, wife and her female friend would go together and I was not looking forward to it. I loaded up the car like the old deaf butler, under the instruction from her ladyship and unpacked it and repacked it when my wife and her friend decided they wanted to take things they had forgotten. By the time we were strapped into the car to go, my stress levels were already very high, we hit the Moscow roads at 3.30. Our destination, Rostov a town in the "golden ring". Rostov is situated on a large lake called lake Nero although I did not see him in the lake. We stayed at small bed and breakfast (it has just two guest rooms) and is situated next to a white church/monastery on the the lake (see photo). The monastery is called Spaso-Jakovlevskij. This weekend, was the "Holy Trinity" and all churches had cut crass thrown on the floor and sliver birch trees inside. I asked a woman what it was and she said it was "to thank the grass", I did not ask any further questions, but it must be like our harvest festival or to thank spring, I will never know.

The journey from the magnetic hold of Moscow was only 200 km, however it took us 3 hours to leave Moscow to travel just 50 km. The traffic was thick. We moved at the walking pace of an old man. Russian drivers seemed to just accept this as normal, although I was getting increasingly tense and felt like turning back, my female passengers insisted to keep going, so I did as I was told. It took 6 hours in total and we arrived in Rostov in the late evening, it is still light at 11.00 at night here in Russia. The road there from Moscow is straight and we took the M8, which is a kind of two lane motorway. The road is not bad, although a few impatient Russians had crashed along the way and one truck had turned over, there were goods scattered all over the road. The roads off the motorway are not good and there are many large holes. The accommodation was basic and provided by a nice man called Viktor (correct spelling). At breakfast, we had fresh Syrniki cooked by his wife. This is a kind of small cake filled with a kind of sweet cheese. They are quite nice but very fattening and very filling.

One thing I did not think about before going, was the fact that we were going to stay on a lake. My body now looks like a road map of the Russian Urals. I am covered in red mosquito bites the size of mountains, they seemed to like English sausage. They were everywhere in the air. The town of Rostov does not look like it has had any money spent on it since the early 1950's. The buildings are old, faded and in need of some love. There is not very much in Rostov town. We found a restaurant that's is on the left down the high street called "Lion". You could choose from such things on the menu as as "fish from the chefs bottom" , "Love story", "chicken cooked to a crisp" etc. I never get bored of reading menus in English in other countries. I went in and there were four staff smoking at the bar with the restaurant lights turned off, we were the only customers, so service was fast. Various funny looking people were just sitting around in the towns main street, some girls sipping beer from plastic cups, wearing very short skirts. They may have been "professionals" although you cannot really tell nowadays, there were many men with missing teeth, kids smoking and many homeless dogs lying in the road. I can't imagine there are many career opportunities in Rostov or much to do for the young. In may ways, its not unlike my own country and towns in the UK, dead, dull and hopeless.

I highly recommend a visit to Kotroma. This is a one hour drive from Rostov. Its a nice town with a large monastery. The monastery is not so interesting, as like so many in Russia it is almost falling down. I think its a bit sad that the government does not do anything to help save Russians history, instead they spend money on weapons, on increasing their own bank accounts or for breast enlargement surgery for their mistresses. They really should be ashamed. We went to see a big monastery in Kostroma, located on the river, behind it is an interesting wooden village situated behind that is a museum. It is a romantic representation of how a Russian village would have been a long time ago. Its worth a visit and very beautiful. You can walk round the entire village and go inside each house. It seems to be popular for wedding photos and I saw one or two Russian brides with heaving wobbling breasts (with each bosom covered in tantalizing gold shiny glitter). They were squeezed into tight white wedding gowns, tottering along in white high heels, to have their photos taken under birch trees with nervous large Russian men.

We looked at many monasteries along and the way and in the area. You have to show your entrance tickets at each museum room you enter when inside the monastery. I don't why they make you do this, since you could not get into see anything inside without a main entrance ticket. Most of the old female staff that guard each room, look very miserable were often rude and it put me off looking at anything. They don't like small children in these places, I can understand with my child, as he likes to set museum alarms off and loves to run around, although I carried him most of the time. I am sure both my arms are now longer and stronger. Another strange thing in Russia, is that when you order food at a restaurant, they bring it to you on different plates. If you order chicken, potatoes and vegetables you have 3 small plates to eat it from. They don't smile much.

I have been told many times, that Moscow is not Russia and I agree. Some may say Moscow was once the jewel in the crown of Russia, I would say now its like another country. I think all expats and visitors to Russia should get out from Moscow and see other parts, to feel the real Russia. It may be rough in parts, but it has charm, you will see beautiful green forests of silver birch (Betula) charming painted and unpainted little wooden houses, ducks, geese, old ladies, and real cultural and historic charm. When you look at the houses, they look unchanged and as if many generations have lived in the them. The widows on the wooden houses have beautiful carved wooden frames around them, I would think many do not have running water or electricity. I took many photos.

If you do travel by car from Moscow, please be careful, Russian drivers overtake from both sides and use the hard shoulder to drive on, they don't signal and just cut in front of you without any warning. Keep your distance from other cars, regularly use all three mirrors to check behind you and make sure you have a spare wheel and that your car has been checked before you take a long journey. In Russia, you have to pay for petrol (gas) before you fill up. If you are a woman you will need to cover your head with a scarf when you enter a church and must wear a dress out of respect to religion.

I recommend Rostov and Kostorma, they are worth a visit but only go for 2 days, any longer would be too long. It was so good to get out of Moscow and breath cleaner air after being here since last September 2009, at long last, I have seen something of this vast country. If you do leave Moscow by car, go early in the morning or late at night to avoid the nightmare traffic. Despite my fears, It was a good idea of my wife's, to drive out of Moscow and I am pleased I went. The journey out of Moscow was not fun and yes they did both boss me around, (French women) I must now chill out at home, in my hot Moscow flat and unwind from the experience but all in all, I enjoyed the trip and want to see the rest of Russia.

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Sponge Bob I love you

I love' "Sponge bob square pants" more than my child does and I also like "Spider and Fly". What does that say about my life? Every day I put him on the sofa, like any good parent, turn on the TV and leave him there to watch TV while I read the paper, surf the internet or plot my world domination.

At first, I had no idea about any of these kids shows, now I know them all. He watches a few things for at least 10 minuets, which frankly is a record in toddler concentration. Sponge Bob a cartoon show about an underwater sponges adventures with a star fish and an octopus, a show about a hamster called "Wounder Pets" who rescue animals and "Spider and Fly" a show about a spider and fly who live in a garden house. The spider always tries to kill the fly but always has an accident himself.

Brilliant entertainment, for the stay at home professional parent. No parent living in a small flat in Moscow should be without a TV or without Cartoon Network, in fact no 44 year old man with a mental age of 12 should be without Cartoon Network! When he is older, I'll get him a Play Station, Xbox and Wfi for his education and mine. Happy days ahead.

You can join their fan site.

UK elections a new beginning? 2010

What a fiasco, the elections were in my home country the UK. After years of Labour disaster, we finally got them out. Admittedly, Gordon Brown had to be dragged from number 10 Downing street and it took ages to finally seal the deal between the Liberal democrats and the Conservatives but in the end it was finally done. I voted for Tony Blair all those years ago to get the Conservatives out and was so happy to see Labour in power. Tony Blair, was a smooth talking man, a qualified lawyer and a gifted actor full of promise and hope. This time I did not vote, as the process for doing so from Russia seemed too much of a headache so I did not bother, I was lazy. I feel bad that I did not vote but when you hear that so many people in the UK could not vote becuase the polling stations could not handle it, I doubt my vote would even have got from the British embassy to the UK.

The UK has become mostly an unpleasant place to live in, especially London. Many people who are not English have asked me over the last five years what's England is like? As a teacher, I have always given them what they wanted to hear. They have always wanted to hear a romantic story of what its like to live in the UK. They expect to hear about tea in the afternoon, the queen, lots of rain, fish and chips, the pub, the London Underground, polite English people and other such classic British traditions, institutions and myths of old. I have always told them the romantic side as of England as it once was, when I was a child so not to shatter the illusion. Sadly the UK is no more. The UK has become a festering melting pot of people from other lands living in a disharmonious environment, the UK has become a "Fuck You" society, a society where people don't care about others, a selfish society and a dangerous place to be. I would not want to raise a child there, if what we read in the papers is to be true. I would terrified to do so. There are still some pockets and forgotten places and known places in England, that still remain beautiful and unspoiled, places such as Devon, Cornwall, parts of Dorset, Somerset and Scotland but you have to know where to look. These places are truly beautiful and lets hope they live long.

Lets hope the new coalition government can sweep up the social and economic mess and start anew making the UK a better place for all. We can only hope so, for hope is all we have.

Hell awaits me - Russian road trip

Next weekend, the wife has demanded that we go away for the weekend outside Moscow. She says "its only a three hour trip" and" if we leave before rush hour it will be OK". Last time I took a trip with my wife, son and another woman, It took me several days to recover from the experience and left me emotionally and mentally scared, (See "Tea with Tolstoy" on this blog). I had my wife behind me telling me how to drive and where to drive, her friend sitting next to me who kept touching my air car condition switches (dear reader never touch a man's car switches they are a sacred, his and a "no touch area", almost like a woman breasts on a woman who you have only just met). My front co passenger, who will remain nameless, kept telling me how to drive, while my wife was her devil echo from the back and my child screamed. I vowed that day never to repeat such a trip. So I now find another such trip waiting for me next weekend, although this time, with another one of my wife's French friends who I am sure will be equally bossy.

My wife says, there will be no traffic at 2.00 in the afternoon, (yeah right, was Gordon Brown good for the UK!), we won't get lost, it will "BE OK". This is Moscow, there is always traffic.  I told her my driving license has expired and that the engine is leaking oil (all true) but she will not listen, as usual, her ears have inverted into her head. I could fake death or insanity (insanity would be almost true) and she would still drag me screaming to the wheel of the car to drive her to this place from hell in Russia. You may not hear from me again.

Dancing with the sun in my eyes

The other weekend, family and I went to a park called Sokolniki here in the mega Polis of Moscow. It was a baking hot day and Muscovite's were out in the sun and carbon monoxide. The park is big and is packed with kids play areas, people selling tacky stuff and fun fair amusements. You can shoot to win a made in China pink teddy, play chess amongst the silver birch trees and dance Alfresco to old classics.

The dancing is really great. You pay to go in and there is a large concrete dance floor floor area where people (I have to say mostly in the twilight of their lives) gently dance to old classics from the 60's, 70's and 80's. I think this is an excellent idea and should be done in my country. People were dancing on their own and with a partner, kids, grandpa and grandma  were dancing and everyone one did not care how they danced or how they looked they were just having a nice time. It was a very bright sunny hot day, almost baking but such fun to dance outside.

In the UK we don't have this kind of thing or any sense of community. I think outdoor dancing should be part of school curriculum and part of rehabilitation for criminal offenders. It gets you outside, it relaxes you and you make friends. Its really a happy event and a social event. Junior and I and later the dear wife, danced round and round in circles in the sunshine without a care in the world. It was great. I will definitely go back and do my stuff on the dance floor at Sokolninki.

Pomp and nationalism- 65th anniversary WW2, Moscow

Yesterday, was the much awaited 9th of May, 65th anniversary of the Russian fight against the Nazis in the 2nd world war. As a family here and  like so many others, we thought we would head on down to the streets of Moscow to watch the tanks and planes on their way to the Kremlin and Red Square. We thought we could wave our adopted Russian flags and cheer the army on its way. Not such a good idea. You could not actually stand on the main streets to watch it. We tried like many others, to watch it by taking a side street off one of the big main streets where the route of the "parade" (as they called it) would pass. Every side street we went to was blocked off with a truck parked across it and at least two or three Police, it was impossible to enter the main streets to watch the parade. We had to watch it from behind the road block with other people. We did see the planes and helicopters fly over, then we heard the rumble of tanks and army trucks, we saw small glimpses of green and metal through the heads of other people and that's all. Feeling dejected and very disappointed, we went home. You could watch it all on TV.

It seems strange to me, but I can't help think this event was for a select few and for the surviving Russian veterans. All of the people that could go to watch it in Red Square, were a very privileged few. On TV, you could see all the veterans weighed down heavily with medals, faces carved with time and experience, singing along to the national songs. Later in the day, there was a big concert on TV. The cameras focused on all the pretty, typically Russian looking girls at the front rows of the concert, famous Russian singers (that I did not recognize) came and went on stage, to sing old Russian classic songs. Round men in their fifties with dyed black hair, loudly sang their songs, beautiful little boys with long golden hair, that looked like girls, sweetly sang their songs and marching bands marched onto the stage to the sound of drums. You could see people in the audience singing along to every song. At the end in a climax, of glory, fireworks lit up the Moscow sky and they must have spent the state budget for a month on the fireworks, not including everything else. Its amazing where they get the money from when they can't provide fair pensions to the old, build decent roads and solve the cities traffic and crime problems. They can control the weather, as they did for the day by bombing the clouds with chemicals to prevent rain but they can't solve or won't solve basic human needs and problmes.

I think its nice and respectful to remember the war and to honor the survivors and remember the dead but I can't help thinking that the whole event here in Russia was an exercise in nationalism "par excellence". I would even say it was a plan of genius, if I were a cynical man. Create an event, glorify a country and a time, stir up national pride and you get a population eating from your hand. Putin is known to foster and feed nationalism and the event was perfect in every way, an exercise in public relations that other countries like the United Kingdom and France would be wise to copy. Make a nation proud of its past, present and future and you hide and paper over all the cracks of political and economic failings. However, the event was a wonderful show, its just a pity we could not actually see it for real, when we live in Moscow.

Toddler trouble in big town Moscow

My seedling, the boy who swam through all the others to reach the mother-ship and who popped out in a bag into this big, bad ugly world over 17 months ago, is becoming trouble. In my own opinion, although as one anonymous "person" commented on this blog (that he is badly behaved) is just like any other small child. Touching everything, climbing on chairs, climbing under chairs and tables, climbing on tables, bashing computer keyboards and putting anything found on the ground, including bird seed, into his mouth.

He is filled with joy at the very simplest of activities, such as throwing toilet rolls, keys and phones down the toilet, pulling the cats tail, phoning Dubai on the phone and other such things, all on an hourly basis. I think he behavior is normal but my mother always maintains at every opportunity, that I was a naughty child so maybe he will or be or is the same? I have been told that if you leave a child in a room alone too long, it sends the wrong signals to his brain. I think this may be true. My dear mother, did just that to me when I was a child which may explain a lot now. The nervous twitches and constant neurosis and flash backs.

I am trying to install fatherly discipline into him. I say NO about 10 times when he is naughty. He just turns round to me smiles and continuous with more enthusiasm than before. I have been told to put him on a "naughty step" or put him in a corner when he is bad and to ignore him. I could try this but my wife makes me stand on the naughty step and stand in the corner when I don't rinse the bath or sink or scrub the toilet of tyre tracks after an unusually big one. It has left me traumatized and did send the wrong signals to my brain. All I want to do now, is live in a large tent in the dessert spread out on soft pillows, to be waited on by a dozen naked pretty girl salves all day and to be fed grapes, pizza and wine. When I tire of that, I will just choose a girl and act out my most wild fantasies. This is of course a dream that may never happen, I digress....but its true I should be strict with him.

Lets hope he starts to learn the word NO and to behave with his dear father.