Toddler trouble in big town Moscow

My seedling, the boy who swam through all the others to reach the mother-ship and who popped out in a bag into this big, bad ugly world over 17 months ago, is becoming trouble. In my own opinion, although as one anonymous "person" commented on this blog (that he is badly behaved) is just like any other small child. Touching everything, climbing on chairs, climbing under chairs and tables, climbing on tables, bashing computer keyboards and putting anything found on the ground, including bird seed, into his mouth.

He is filled with joy at the very simplest of activities, such as throwing toilet rolls, keys and phones down the toilet, pulling the cats tail, phoning Dubai on the phone and other such things, all on an hourly basis. I think he behavior is normal but my mother always maintains at every opportunity, that I was a naughty child so maybe he will or be or is the same? I have been told that if you leave a child in a room alone too long, it sends the wrong signals to his brain. I think this may be true. My dear mother, did just that to me when I was a child which may explain a lot now. The nervous twitches and constant neurosis and flash backs.

I am trying to install fatherly discipline into him. I say NO about 10 times when he is naughty. He just turns round to me smiles and continuous with more enthusiasm than before. I have been told to put him on a "naughty step" or put him in a corner when he is bad and to ignore him. I could try this but my wife makes me stand on the naughty step and stand in the corner when I don't rinse the bath or sink or scrub the toilet of tyre tracks after an unusually big one. It has left me traumatized and did send the wrong signals to my brain. All I want to do now, is live in a large tent in the dessert spread out on soft pillows, to be waited on by a dozen naked pretty girl salves all day and to be fed grapes, pizza and wine. When I tire of that, I will just choose a girl and act out my most wild fantasies. This is of course a dream that may never happen, I digress....but its true I should be strict with him.

Lets hope he starts to learn the word NO and to behave with his dear father.