Hair and hooligans

Today, I was passing the playground where I take my son to play on my way for a hair cut. Many parents take their kids there, expats and Russians. As I walked, I saw two teenage boys who must have been aged about seventeen swinging so hard on the kids swings that I thought they would either fly off them into the air or break the chains, these swings are the type you put a child into. This is not the first time I have seen them at the playground doing that. Anger inside me rose up to the epicenter of my being. I purposely (and I have to say rather manly), strode over and up to the boys and tapped one on the shoulder and asked one if they spoke English, one boy said he did, I told them off and tried to tell them that they may break or damage the swings and that the swings are for small children and that they could kill a child. They sniggered to each other as I spoke and I am not sure they understood everything I said. I was expecting to have my glasses smashed as I walked away, I am sure a ton of verbal abuse in Russian was directed at me. Had I done this in the UK, I am sure I would have been knifed, shot or punched.

I left the playground hoping I had made a small difference to child safety and went onto the hairdressers. I always have my hair cut by a boy called Zamir, he is a hair "Master". As coincidence would have it, he has a twin brother who also works at the very same salon, although his brother is not a Master! What are the chances of that! How do twin brothers a) decide to be hairdressers and b) decide to work at the same hair salon? Just to explain, in Russia they band hairdressers into normal cutters and "Masters". Masters charge more and are the black belts of the scissor art.

I don't speak Russian, so cannot make small talk to the hairdresser while he or she cuts my hair, which maybe a blessing. Zamir said to me, as he cut my hair: "gel it stay 3 days". I don't really know what he meant? was he saying the hair gel I had in my hair would stay in for 3 days? or I would be a girl in 3 days? I will never know, I am sure on my death bed, this thought will go through my mind. Its a bit strange at that hair salon, but they charge you to use the toilet. Russia is a non Eco friendly country and they don't care at all about natural resources, which includes water. I was bit shocked to be charged 50 rubles to take a pee when I was paying for a hair cut. Zamir just throws hair everywhere and then, as if by magic, some poor girl, who looks like she came on a bus journey lasting a month from the far reaches of Russia, eagerly sweeps up the hair cuttings from the floor, she is probably only paid about 80 rubles an hour, which is enough for a pack of a good pack cigarettes. Enough said, I look incredibly handsome and red hot.

Life goes on.