A guide for stay at home dads and mums

A few suggestions for stay at home dads and stay at home mums. The list is not extensive and is only a guide.







This is a follow up to my article entitled "I am the man"


Stay at home dads:

1 Get out the flat/house sometimes and take a break.
2 Remember your wife/girlfriend will be tired when she gets home and although you will be pleased to see her, and for the adult company, try to be soft with her and let her relax.
3 Make sure the kitchen is clean (see below). If not, it will lead to big trouble and you really don't want the aggro.
4 Don't leave kids toys on the floor, clear up before she comes home, if you want peace.
5 Don't complain about your life, she my feel jealous that you can spend so much time with your child.
6 Play with your child, don't just dump him or her on the carpet and hope they will entertain themselves.
7 Get out and mix with other parents at baby and toddler play groups. Don't just mix with mothers.
8 Don't eye up and chat up the mums in the play groups. Well you can, but be very discrete!
9 Remember you are lucky to have a time with your child.
10 Have a meal on the table for when she gets home.
11 Make your woman feel she is involved in your child's life and don't assume it all on yourself.
12 Express yourself to your wife/girl friend if you are unhappy, she is not a mind reader.
13 Try to have a plan for when you no longer need to be at home when your little one is not a "little one" anymore.
14 Keep you hands off any nanny you may employ, it will only lead to big trouble later.
15 See point 3 below.
16 Don't leave your child alone for anytime, this is very dangerous.
17 Make up a bucket/batch of food like Spaghetti or curry, you can freeze it and just defrost when you need to, this will save you time.
18 Remember, some people will be judging and find it unusual and uncomfortable when you tell them you are a "stay at home dad" or were a stay at home dad, if you look for employment later. Ignore them and let them live in their self ignorance. Be proud that you tried and were involved in your child's early years.

Stay at home mums:

1 All of the above!
2 Don't "contract out" your darlings care to others if you can afford it, work if you want to, but part-time or from home. You little one needs you as much as possible, its what nature intended.
3 Take photos of your child as he or she does funny things, so that dad does not miss out on those special moments.
4 Get involved in decisions, don't just leave them all to your man, discuss and agree.
5 Don't just mix with other mums, this is very destructive, take up a class or hobby a few times a week and mix with men and women.

Note: All of the above is possible, but made a little harder if you are a stay at home dad or mum living abroad but can be done!

These suggestions, may seem obvious but are not always so obvious if you are new to the role, Most of them are directed at, and for "stay at home dads". Some of these suggestions will help your sanity and may save your relationship/marriage.  Contact me if you have any other suggestions or comments or just add them below.