Being a parent & other observations

Having a child or children really is a the best thing that anyone can experience as long as they are healthy and happy. Having said that, raising a child in a country that is not your own is a challenge. Luckily, while they are small, you don't have to worry about pre school ("kindergarten") expenses but you do have to find a baby sitter or as they are called here, "nannies" many are Filipino. Sometimes its easy to forget that you can't just go out to the shop to get some chocolate as you can't leave you child alone (although I know nowadays many parents do leave a child alone, which is irresponsible and cruel) you have to wrap up your child, shoe up, coat up, strap in and wheel down to the street via lift or stairs. Another thing you notice, is how people behave towards you when you have a push chair (stroller/buggy/pram). Some people just look annoyed and bump into the push chair, some hold the door for you and some don't and let it slam in your face. In Moscow, I have often been allowed to cross the road by drivers when I was not at a zebra crossing, this touched me and restores my faith in human nature. Its interesting as I am not a woman. If I was a woman, would people be more polite to me and my push chair with child? who knows? I know that when a child is at pre school age the expense is crazy. I really do not know how some expats do it. Although having said that, many expats here are on high salaries and some even get free pre-school provided for their child or children.

In a big city you are totally invisible, before moving here, we lived in a small capital in another country, everyone new everyone and people were very friendly, you don't get that in a big city. People are often cold and distant, dare I say snobby. I thought this was a mainly a British characteristic, but it seems to be international and prevalent in a big city. I have also noticed, that drivers here are rude, they do not thank each other when letting in the driver in front or signal to turn or pull out, when you hoot at them they look shocked, at why you are hooting them! Russia seems to get more like a dictatorship each week, if we are to believe the press, murdered lawyers, hooligan police and other such things. Its not wise to criticize any politician directly in the press, or you will find yourself in prison, dead or out of business. This is no way to act in a civilized 21st century country.

Expat life as a part-time stay at home parent, is boring unless you have a fleet of nannies, cleaners and cook to help you. Your life is tied to the flat. Each day rolls into the next. Time drags. Days drag in endless routine. Some people reading this may think I am lucky to be at home with my child and I know I am, as many never see their kids while both parents slave away each day in an office job arriving home after nine at night, totally exhausted. I should be, and am thankful of that fact, that I can spend time with my child. To watch my child grow and develop a character. Politicians the world over, in "civilized countries" should make policy to allow a parent to stay home with their child for the fist year or two of his or her life. Systems should be in place to allow free or very cheap childcare and some form of reduced salary for a mother or father to stay home for a set time period of time. Of course this will never happen, except in countries like Sweden as it would cost too much and "shock horror" is too socialist. I think its a case of child development and child need, common sense tells us, that children need to see at least one face each that is the same and one parent for his or her first few years of life. So many children never see a parent and are bought up in a toxic society and a loveless society. I think this has contributed to the state of society in countries like the UK and maybe America.I have said too much and am rambling in a sociological way that I should not. Sociology is a passion for me. I not an expert in anyway, but when one has time, one thinks about these things and tries to solve world problems. Maybe I should stick to nappies and shopping.

I have to find a nanny for part time work, not easy, as many want full time hours, its not a luxury but a necessity here and not as expensive as you may think, they are not proper nannies or "trained" at a nanny school as in "Mary Poppins", but many here are Filipino girls working here and who send money back home for their own children, why they choose to go to Russia, is one of life's un-answered questions. Wish me luck. hay ho blue sky outside today.