Save time with baby duties

As a busy house husband at home in Moscow, I have found new time saving ways when carrying out my daily duties.

1 When baby has a dirty bottom, simply hold his bottom over a fast flushing toilet and his bottom area will be clean in no time.

2 If you want baby to stay in his/her play area and can't afford any play pen, simply take some elastic from your wife's/girlfriends panties (Not the ones you gave her for her birthday) and tie one end to babies waist and one end to a table, then if he/she or she tries to escape, baby will simply be sprung back into the play area. Note if your wife is on the heavy side for safety reasons, use many elastic bands.

3 If baby won't sleep, get a radio and tune it into British cricket commentary, he/she will fall asleep in about 2 minuets.

Note: These activities are only suggestions, I take no responsibility or liability for any advice given. Always seek professional childcare advice when requiring advice on any daily baby care.